


Reality

by dragon_temeraire



Series: Trans Derek [2]
Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, College Student Derek, College Student Stiles, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Getting Together, Light Angst, M/M, Pining, Trans Derek, Trans Male Character, sex mention
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-03
Updated: 2018-06-03
Packaged: 2019-05-18 00:34:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,640
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14842196
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dragon_temeraire/pseuds/dragon_temeraire
Summary: He almost desperately wants to say yes to Stiles’ offer of a date, but. “Do you really think you can handle dating a trans guy, though? You seemed pretty freaked out when I told you.”





	Reality

**Author's Note:**

> A companion/sequel to Assumptions, but I feel that it can stand on its own. It’s a little heavier than that fic because it’s from Derek’s perspective, but there’s still a happy ending!

 

Derek’s heart is aching.

It’s hard to breathe with all his muscles drawn tight, and he grips the straps of his backpack like a lifeline. He can feel a burning heat across his face, and pressure behind his eyes that tells him he’s about to cry or erupt in anger. Possibly both.

He’s never been more grateful that his apartment is just across the street from campus, and he hurries to it, trying to keep his expression neutral. The last thing he wants right now is someone asking him if he’s okay.

As soon as he gets inside he drops his bag and leans up against the door, body starting to tremble now that he’s not holding himself together.

 _Fuck_.

He’d gotten complacent, he supposed, no longer expecting cruel words from the mouths of people he liked and respected. He certainly hadn’t expected Stiles to make a crude joke about _parts_ , as though there’d been some sort of mix-up at the factory, and it had taken him right back to his high school days.

Very few people at the college knew about him—he wanted people to get to know him as a person, rather than just as _that trans guy_ , or something worse. But still. Stiles is observant, and Stiles is very smart, and Derek thought he’d put together the little hints he’d dropped and figured it out.

Clearly he was wrong.

The only consolation he has is that Stiles had only looked shocked when he’d told him, not disgusted. And he doubts Stiles is the kind of asshole to out him to the entire campus.

He pushes off the door, heads deeper into his apartment. “Things are going to be okay,” he says softly, trying to convince himself.

 

*

 

Derek endures weeks of Stiles ignoring him in class, in the hallways, in the library. Sure, he hadn’t expected Stiles to be interested anymore, but he hadn’t expected the cold shoulder, either.

Stiles seems to be living in his own little world, and looks deep in thought every time Derek catches a glimpse of him. He wonders if he’s shifted Stiles’ world too far off its axis, and now he’s struggling to right it.

And he’s starting to doubt even _friendship_ with Stiles will be an option now, not with the distance Stiles’ silence has put between them.

And it bites at him sometimes, the way his choices have led to situations like this. The way so many people struggle to accept him.

But he refuses to be less than exactly who he is, and he won’t change that for anyone.

 

*

 

Derek’s just finished lunch, and is debating on whether he’s ready to start working on homework, when there’s a couple of tentative knocks on his door.

He’s _really_ not in the mood for any kind of sales pitch or free offer, so he puts on his most intimidating, surly expression before he yanks the door open. But it’s not a solicitor on the other side, it’s _Stiles_ , and Derek has to work to hide his surprise. “I didn’t expect to see you again,” he says, entirely truthfully.

Stiles actually looks like he feels bad about that, and Derek tries not to let his heart soften. It’s awful how much he still likes Stiles, despite everything.

“Sorry, I just needed time to think everything over,” Stiles says apologetically.

“Yeah? And what’s the verdict?” Derek asks warily, arms crossed. He has no idea why Stiles is here, can’t imagine why _he’d_ look nervous when Derek is the one who doesn’t know what’s going on.

He swears he can see Stiles weighing out his answer, carefully arranging it before he says, entirely unexpectedly, “I came to find out if I could take you on a date.”

Derek feels his heart stutter, tries to clamp down on the hope he feels blossoming in his chest. “Thought I had the wrong parts for you,” he says flatly.

To his surprise, Stiles doesn’t try to make excuses for himself.

“No, _I_ was wrong. I said that because was trying to be clever by _implying_ that I was bisexual and really into guys right now, instead of just, you know, actually _saying that_.” He shakes his head. “And being transphobic and hurting you was in no way intentional, but I did it, and I am sorry.”

Derek nods, accepting the apology. He almost desperately wants to say yes to Stiles’ offer of a date, but. “Do you really think you can handle dating a trans guy, though? You seemed pretty freaked out when I told you.”

“I was just surprised!” Stiles hurries to say. “You’re so big and muscular and you have that _perfect_ beard, so I would have never even guessed—”

Derek feels himself blushing at the compliment. “Hormone replacement works wonders,” he cuts in wryly. “Though I’ll admit I was lucky and got started with it pretty early—I’ve been taking T for about ten years now, and this is the result.” He scratches his fingers nervously through his stubble. “And if you _had_ asked me out before everything else happened, I would have told you I was trans anyway. I don’t like people freaking out on me, accusing me of _tricking_ them, just when things are getting good.”

“Understandable,” Stiles says. “Finding out you were trans was a surprise, but not a bad one! I just want to make that clear. Though I feel like I should mention that I thought about sucking your dick _a lot_.”

Derek feels himself flushing in a whole different way at that. “Take me on a good enough first date,” he says, “and you still can.” It’s time to find out if Stiles really _can_ handle it, so Derek smirks and adds, “It won’t hurt your jaw nearly so much when you do, so feel free to take your time.”

Stiles doesn’t look weirded out or confused, but he does look a little turned on. He visibly shakes that off, though, and holds out his hand to Derek, waiting patiently for him to take it.

“Then I hope you’re ready, because I’m going to date you _so good_.”

Derek grins. He definitely appreciates Stiles’ enthusiasm. “Yeah? Let’s see what you got.”

 

*

 

He doesn’t actually intend to sleep with Stiles on the first date.

Or first _dates_ , he supposes. Stiles drags him to the park, a bowling alley, an arcade, and a really good pizza place, all the while looking so genuinely delighted to be with Derek that Derek can’t help but go along.

It’s a day of things he enjoys, but Derek also really likes sex, and he hasn’t had a chance at that for a while now. He has a high libido, but sometimes he’s not up for the amount of disclosure required before the clothes come off. So when they get back to the apartment and Stiles kisses him, Derek takes it to the next level, wondering if Stiles is interested.

He is. He’s also _good_.

He doesn’t seem at all bothered by what Derek does (or doesn’t) have, and he isn’t overly tentative and cautious. He just works to figure out what Derek likes, then _keeps doing it_.

It’s amazing.

He falls asleep to the gentle touch of Stiles’ hand on his hip, and the sudden realization that he has a _boyfriend_ now.

 

*

 

And things go well between them, at least for a while.

But after several months of dating, Derek starts to notice things.

Stiles, who’d all but moved in, starts coming over less and spends more nights at his own apartment. On the nights he does stay, he only cuddles Derek until he thinks he’s asleep, then inches away and curls up at the edge of the mattress. Even the afterglow is less contented, with Stiles looking pensive and feeling somehow distant from him, even though he’s right there.

And Derek _wants_ to ignore it, wants to pretend that it’s not happening, but he needs to know what’s going on.

He’s in bed with Stiles laid out on top of him, kissing him and slipping his hands under Derek’s shirt, when he decides he’s going to find out. He wraps his arms around Stiles and rolls them over, looks down at Stiles’ surprised expression.

Before Stiles can make a joke or distract him, Derek says, “You’ve been acting different lately. Stiles, what’s wrong?” _Do you want to end this?_ He can’t bring himself to ask.

“I—” Stiles begins, looking away. He lets out a heavy sigh. “I’ve been worried.”

“About what?” Derek asks warily. He’s had other lovers who’ve dated him for a while, then decided that dating a trans guy was just a novelty, and just wasn’t _feasible_ in the long run. Whatever _that_ means.

Stiles’ gaze wavers, comes back to Derek. “Look, I know we haven’t been dating that long, and I know we never really talked about it, so I’m—I don’t know how serious this relationship is to you,” Stiles blurts out. “But I really, _really_ like you, and I’ve been trying not to fall in love with you, because I’m not sure how much you want this, want _me_ —”

“Oh,” Derek says, because of all the scenarios he’d pictured, this had not been one. “I—I thought you were pulling away because you knew _I_ was falling in love with _you_.”

Stiles lets out a lightly tremulous laugh. “We’re a pair of fools, aren’t we? I knew I needed to talk to you, to let you know how I felt, but.”

“The certainty was frightening?” Derek asks wryly.

“It really was,” Stiles says, a hand coming up to trace Derek’s jaw. “Especially because you’re amazing, and I’m not much of a catch by comparison.”

“That last part’s not true,” Derek says with a smile, kissing Stiles neck and cheek and lips until he’s laughing. “Consider yourself caught.”

 

**Author's Note:**

> I'm trans, and this is written purely from my experience and perspective. Your mileage may vary.
> 
> Feel free to come by and prompt me/talk to me [ on tumblr](http://dragon-temeraire.tumblr.com/).


End file.
